


Lovesick

by alizarin_scribbles



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Buckle up because this one's a rocky ride, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hanahaki Disease, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Like intense bonehurty pining, M/M, Past Character Death, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2021-01-25 11:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21355369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alizarin_scribbles/pseuds/alizarin_scribbles
Summary: Hanahaki disease AU. An encounter with a NEXT leaves Barnaby to suffer under a strange illness caused by unrequited love. It can be cured when that love is returned, otherwise Barnaby must move on from his feelings to be rid of it. Kotetsu stands by his partner, wanting to help but inadvertently making the symptoms worse, unaware that Barnaby is in love with him. COMPLETE.
Relationships: Barnaby "Bunny" Brooks Jr. & Kaburagi T. Kotetsu, Barnaby "Bunny" Brooks Jr./Kaburagi T. Kotetsu, Past Kotetsu/Tomoe
Kudos: 35





	1. Full Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> [_All characters except for the obvious OCs (Nawra, Jordan) belong to Sunrise/Bandai Namco Pictures, the creators/owners of Tiger and Bunny. The OCs in this fanfiction were created by me. This fic was originally posted on FF.Net [here](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11729755/1/Lovesick) by me, and the author's notes have been modified to better fit this site's structure. This fanwork is free to view and download, and always will be. If you have ever been asked to pay for access in any way to this fanwork on alternative hosting sites/mobile apps, know that I have never consented to any for-profit reposts and you're being ripped off. If you like this, please consider leaving a comment on the original as well. Thanks!_]
> 
> Hello! I am back with stuff. College is hard, and do your best to not sign up for classes earlier than or at eight AM, because unless you're intensely passionate about that class, I can assure you that you will wish you were dead every time you have to wake up for it! Any how, thank God, I've survived, and was able to churn out this lovely little work. It's all finished and edited, so expect updates to come quickly. Y'all are signing up to cry, so be forewarned.
> 
> Before we get onto that, shout-out to my sin twin for sparking my inspiration with the Hanahaki disease AU. I love you, you nerd, and I hope you're doing okay-ish in the very least if not having A Good Time™.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Reddie

An exasperated laugh filled the transport, the echo tinny as it bounced off the walls. Barnaby spared his partner a look, instead giving up a little chuckle of a sigh.

"That was too close, Old Man."

"Well, we pulled it off, didn't we?"

"You nearly drowned with that last taxi!"

Kotetsu shrugged, "I got the driver and the passenger to safety, and that's what matters most."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Barnaby blurted out, downcast amber eyes rushing up to meet his flustered green. "Kotetsu, I don't say this out of malice. You need to stop acting so recklessly. Whether you have five minutes or just one left, you're still a Hero. You matter too. People need you."

And "I need you" felt like it was caught in his throat, Barnaby choking the statement down… but he wasn't actually choking on words. Something was very literally, tangibly making him gag.

"Bunny? Are you ok—?"

He hacked out a glob of red onto Kotetsu's chest, instantly slapping his hands over his mouth in horror, thinking it was blood. But before he could even think of reaching out to brush his blood off of his partner, he coughed again, more bright scarlet forcing its way out of him, falling into his fingers. Barnaby opened up his fists to look at the slimy contents in his hands.

"Oh…" Barnaby uttered out loud, sounding relieved.

Kotetsu, eyes wide, simply echoed in disbelief, "'Oh'?"

"It's… not blood," he managed, the globs feeling something like fragile velvet under the film of saliva. Kotetsu, curious, plucked the one drying on his chest, recognizing it as…

"What the—a flower petal?" Kotetsu couldn't help the snort that escaped him, earning a glare, "Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn't be laughing. Just…" A snicker started up in his chest again, "what are you doing munching on flowers, Bunny?"

"Barnaby," he corrected irritably, brushing the goop off his hands. "And while certain varieties of flowers are edible, they aren't a part of my regular diet…"

"Then, where the hell is this coming from?" Kotetsu's eyes narrowed.

"There's only one logical e-explanation," Barnaby coughed again, more violently this time, more crumpled petals forcing their way out of him as they fell to the floor. "We must've made contact with a NEXT, and this is a side effect of their abilities. And because this hadn't started happening until recently, it must've been someone we'd interacted with—today!" A wave of nausea washed over him this time, vomiting more red into the pile already on the floor. For a second, Barnaby couldn't breathe, and Kotetsu panicked, slapping a hand against his partner's back.

A whole tulip bulb spluttered over onto the floor, leaving the two of them to gawk down at it in shock.

Kotetsu rubbed his hand over his partner's back in smooth soothing circles, "Bunny, you okay?"

"To be frank, no. That was awful." He then turned to scold, "And you don't touch someone who's choking! You could've made it worse!"

"Sorry! I panicked, because you were…" Kotetsu kept Barnaby's gaze for a moment, trying to express with eyes what lips couldn't express. Such a tender expression, Barnaby thought, wishing briefly that things could just stay like this a while longer. But another petal sought its way out through a brutal hack. Kotetsu's hand remained on his back, warm and comforting… a supportive weight, a reminder that there was someone he could rely on. Voice low and gentle, Kotetsu asked, "Who do you think it could've been?"

"I've been at home listening to music all day, until we were called into action. The criminal apprehended today had the power of magnetic manipulation. Not to mention, even if he did have another power, Blue Rose and Dragon Kid ended up apprehending him. So it had to be someone we saved."

"Fire Emblem and Sky High beat us to most of them. We got like, two, four people, right?"

"Yeah."

"Wait… but how are we supposed to get ahold of them?"

"When we get back to headquarters, we'll ask Agnes for the footage, so we can identify their faces, in the very least." The hand on Barnaby's back shifted to his shoulder.

Kotetsu nodded, "Sounds like a plan."

Barnaby vomited again, straining out two more bulbs, tears streaming down his face. Kotetsu could only watch helplessly as his partner suffered, feeling like he was reliving the nightmare of Tomoe's illness all over again. He wanted to make it _stop already_, before anything could…

His grip on Barnaby's shoulder tightened.

* * *

Once back at headquarters, Barnaby was provided with cough suppressants. But when that proved relatively useless, he'd been given anti-emetic drugs to stop the vomiting. While it helped a little more so, he still found himself choking on a few petals every now and then.

Kotetsu stood by Barnaby's side all the while, nothing to offer but his silent support. Having his partner nearby was a great relief to Barnaby, enough so that this ordeal didn't feel unbearable. Kotetsu had that effect on him, at least. His support gave Barnaby strength, and made him fall further into love that he wouldn't dare admit aloud, professionalism and their friendship considered.

"Barnaby," Agnes greeted, a smile gracing her lacquered lips, "I've got some great news. One of the women you and Kotetsu saved this afternoon contacted us. She claims concern over having infected you with her NEXT abilities."

"Could we possibly arrange to meet with her?" Barnaby piped up eagerly.

"Yes. In fact, she'd like to meet you and Kotetsu tonight at the cocktail lounge in Fortress Tower, if possible."

Kotetsu said, "Tell her we'll be there in a heartbeat."

"You know I will," Agnes replied. "Good luck, you two."

"Thanks," he and Barnaby responded in unison, surprising each other. Agnes left with a breath of a chuckle at that. And as soon as she had disappeared, Barnaby let out the cough he'd been holding back.

"You okay, Bunny?"

"I'd be lying if I said no," Barnaby answered, "but it's bearable, at least for now."

Kotetsu observed his expression for a moment, before leaning back in his chair, eyes pointed towards the ceiling. "This really is so weird." Barnaby coughed again, a flop of wet petals smacking against the floor.

"And disgusting," Barnaby added, wrinkling his nose. Taking up two tissues from a box in his desk drawer, he bent towards the petals, only to find his hand over Kotetsu's by mistake.

"Oops, sorry!" Kotetsu laughed a bit, pulling his hand away. His ring glinted under the light. Barnaby's throat went tight, clogged with something other than the petals. He coughed again. Nothing came out this time. How could it?

Not missing a beat, he got out, "It's fine. Thank you for your help, Kotetsu."

Barnaby gathered up his mess, discarding the petals in the wastebasket under his desk.

* * *

The circumstances were simple enough when put in the broadest of terms: Barnaby would hold onto what was once his, and Kotetsu would do the same for himself.

That was why Barnaby could never bring himself to look at Kotetsu as any kind of father figure, even though a handful of co-workers had interpreted their partnership as such. But why would he agree with them? He already had a father, and that was Barnaby Brooks Sr. That wouldn't change no matter how many years passed. Even when Barnaby believed Maverick to be good, an uncle could never take the place of his one and only father. Kotetsu wasn't an exception to that. No one was.

So by the same logic, it made sense that no one could ever replace Tomoe.

Sure, Kotetsu could be flirtatious. Barnaby had noticed that much from the way his tone changed around a variety of attractive interviewers and fans, most of them women in particular. But to Barnaby's knowledge, the fact stood that Kotetsu went home alone every night, returning to photographs of her framed in his living room. His love for her was the reason a silver band would never leave his left hand. It would remain there until Kotetsu's dying day, when he'd be buried next to his first and only love. Barnaby understood that nothing on Earth could ever displace any of the love he felt for Tomoe, not after all the years they'd spent together.

"And yet…" Barnaby sighed to himself, pulling up to the curbside.

Kotetsu sat on the steps in front of his place, perking up instantly at the sight of Barnaby. His wide grin stood out even from a distance as he got up and made his way over to the door by the shotgun seat. The smell of spit and tulips mingled in the car, a sickly sweet stench. As Kotetsu climbed in, Barnaby smiled wearily at him in return, the slightest tinge of warmth dancing ever so faintly across that haggard expression. Pity twisted on his partner's face.

"Doing okay, Bunny?"

"I'm alright, Kotetsu. Don't worry," He reassured quietly, eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. "We'll get this all sorted out soon enough."

Truth be told, the anti-emetics wore off a while ago, so Barnaby wasn't exactly in top condition. He'd taken a new dosage just before he left his apartment and it hadn't quite kicked in yet. But that went without saying for Kotetsu. Barnaby never had to say anything anymore for Kotetsu to know that something was wrong. It was terrifying to be known so well, but also cathartic, in a way, to just have everything out in the open like that for only one person to clearly see. He was understood. Barnaby never wanted to take that for granted.

"Well, drinks are on me tonight, so don't worry about that!"

"Alright. Thank you."

And he was cared for. That had to be enough.

* * *

They arrived to the top floor of Fortress Tower as swiftly as they'd found parking in the emptying lot. Although, Kotetsu slowed a bit as he made his way to Barnaby's side in the elevator. Given the last time they'd come here together, Barnaby didn't blame him.

"You remember blowing the roof off this place?" Kotetsu chuckled under his breath as they walked out towards an open table.

Barnaby retorted, "Excuse me, but I don't remember being the one to punch a hole through the roof."

"Right, right. You just kicked the bomb up there, that's all."

"Yeah, through the hole _you_ made."

"Eh, the specifics aren't important," Kotetsu sat down, "Just glad we can look back and laugh about it now, right?"

Barnaby couldn't help the smile tugging at his lips, "I'll say." And he sat beside Kotetsu without another thought. Green eyes wandered everywhere over the room except on the person next to him, searching for the solution to his symptoms, the one who had answers to his ailment.

A skinny young woman with glasses and dark, curly hair met eyes with him, and headed for their table, taking a seat in front of him with the slightest hint of hesitation. A beat of silence passed, as she avoided direct eye contact with both of them.

She stuttered out shyly, "G-Good evening…"

"Were you the woman who contacted Apollon Media about…" Barnaby grasped for the best words, hoping to ease the unnecessary guilt she was feeling, "having mistakenly infected me somehow?"

"Yes…"

"May I know your name?"

"It's Nawra. Nawra Shafir. And… it sincerely was a mistake. I apologize."

"It's alright, Ms. Shafir." Barnaby reassured softly, but her expression didn't falter. He coughed a little, urging her eyes upward.

"I-I," she dug through her purse, "brought a paper bag, if you need it…"

"I'm alright, but thank you. I took medicine earlier, so it shouldn't—"

"Medicine doesn't help," Nawra interjected bitterly, voice still quiet, but the words were certain now, and resolute. She was angry, but not at Barnaby... just at herself, as if she could even help what was happening to him now.

A look of panic came over Barnaby, as he tried to keep his voice even, "So, would this condition be irreversible, then?"

"No, no, I…" She heaved a sigh, "That's not what I meant. I don't mean to say there isn't a cure, but… I don't know what to say, honestly." Kotetsu furrowed his brows, sitting up to speak, voice steady and strong.

"You could start by explaining what it is about your power that has Bunny puking up tulips."

She looked to Kotetsu, eyes wide. "Just petals or full bulbs?"

"Bulbs," he answered, and she did a poor job of concealing her uneasiness. "Is that bad?"

"I don't know, I… umm, d-do you…" She looked up at Barnaby, "know who you're in love with?" Redness crept onto Barnaby's pale cheeks. Kotetsu blinked at him, a little stunned and a little inappropriately amused.

Barnaby spoke slowly, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"That's my power. I make people spit flowers." she explained, "You see, when someone makes me feel safe or calm, i-it activates, and then they get infected. Because you and Mr. Tiger saved me, you both have it. But it's only really affecting you because you're…" Nawra scrunched up her face a bit, "you're really, _really_, in love with someone who doesn't love you back the same way. At least… not that you know of. Um. I-It gets… strange. I've infected people who liked each other at the same time, but neither of them knew. Then a week passed, and… it was gone."

Kotetsu piped up hopefully, "So does that mean he can wait it out?"

"Um. That depends…" Nawra murmured, "I hate to say this, but if he's coughing out bulbs, I doubt he can just wait it out like they did. Unless he has tremendous willpower."

"So then, what do I have to do to get rid of it?"

"Neither of these are surefire, but… agh, okay the way this works… basically! Um… I'm so sorry… I'm having so much trouble talking today, ahah…"

"Take your time, Ms. Shafir. Just explain to us as best as you can."

She paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, before going on to say, "The condition… will only persist as long as your love is unrequited. So you… you can do one of two things: either get them to love you back or… you move on. Thing is, it gets worse the deeper your love grows, and well, since you're vomiting bulbs and not just the petals, you must already love them a whole lot. So… the latter seems like it would be hard. And you can't make someone love you either, because… well, love just happens. And that's why I said… those weren't surefire..." She trailed off, lowered her voice to a murmur, "I'm sorry, I… that's all I have to say. I know this doesn't mean anything but… I didn't mean to do this to you."

"Your sincerity means a lot, actually. Thank you for taking the time out of your evening to meet with us." Barnaby reassured, "And don't worry about me, Ms. Shafir. You can trust that I'll be fine."

"If you say so…"

After they'd all exchanged phone numbers, a server came around at last to take their orders. Nawra took a glass of ruby port, Kotetsu shochu, and Barnaby icy ginger water for his turning stomach, something just as strong as the sentiment that had him vomiting tulips, in hopes that it could quell the warmth and symptom-caused nausea of sitting next to the very one he held so dear. But regardless of how cold it felt on his tongue, the warmth would come back to burn, return to make his insides tingle and his throat tight with words he could never, ever say.

Falling in love was as easy as catching Kotetsu in his arms. Letting it go… well, Barnaby certainly was in for hell.


	2. Speaking Without Words

Kotetsu was uncharacteristically quiet on the ride back to his place, likely trying his best to mind his partner's privacy, despite the obvious curiosity itching at him. Barnaby was grateful for his reluctance for the time being though. He liked that his partner was trying to be considerate about it. But the question, from here, seemed inevitable, and he was anticipating it, calculating what to say without lying, but also without answering directly.

At last, Kotetsu spoke, "It's alright if you don't want to tell me who it is, but do you at least know what you're planning to do?" A beat of silence passed before Barnaby found the nerve to reply.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to pursue them. That's for sure."

At the use of 'them', the first thought that came to mind was Fire Emblem. But with a bit more thought, that didn't quite make sense. Barnaby had never outright in the slightest returned Nathan's advances, and it didn't seem like the two of them were close enough for it either. Nathan honestly seemed like they were just looking for a friendly hook-up, and Barnaby appeared only mildly flattered at best, but generally uninterested. Then again, Barnaby could be quite mysterious in his motives. Perhaps he was just as secretive in love. Nathan had shown a fair amount of concern for Barnaby in the past, and it was likely that he'd noticed, observant man he was. Maybe he cared just as much in return.

It still didn't make sense to Kotetsu though, looking in from the outside. He may have known his partner well, but he couldn't read Barnaby's mind, let alone his heart for that matter. Nawra said bulbs were a big deal, didn't she? One thing was certain then: whoever it was, Barnaby was really head over heels.

"You sure? I mean, I could be your wingman, you know. Put in a good word for you." Barnaby sighed, heart aching. If only Kotetsu knew.

"I appreciate your concern, but I really don't have a choice. It would be insensitive of me to even try."

"Insensitive? Why's that?"

"They love someone else."

Barnaby looked Kotetsu in the eye with this, watching the older man's heart crumble behind the amber gaze. Instantly, he looked down, feeling a pang in his own chest.

"Ah. Sorry, pal," Kotetsu placed a hand over Barnaby's shoulder, gentle and comforting, "that's tough luck."

"I'll be alright," Barnaby said, words hesitant, like he didn't believe them himself. So how in the hell could he expect Kotetsu to believe him too?

"Moving on is easier said than done. I get that," Kotetsu murmured.

"I know you do." Barnaby glanced at the silver band on his partner's hand, saying things with his eyes that Kotetsu had learned to understand.

_So if you could never do it, how do you expect me to?_

That was a good question.

Neither had time to really think about the answer to it though, as Barnaby pulled up to the curb near Kotetsu's place once again. Before he could drive away however, a gruesome coughing fit took hold of Barnaby again. Thanks to the anti-emetics, nothing but petals had come out. While that still wasn't pleasant, Barnaby had to admit it was much more tolerable than choking out whole bulbs. Anxious fear gripped him then, as a thought came to mind: what would happen when the anti-emetics wore off again?

He could possibly choke in his sleep.

"You should stay the night at my place." Kotetsu said, as if he'd read Barnaby's mind, "Or I could grab my stuff and stay at yours. Whichever works best."

Barnaby instantly replied, "That's not necessary." A concern came to mind over whether or not having Kotetsu around would exacerbate the symptoms. It could go either way, honestly, and that was frightening.

"Bunny, you've got worry written all over your face. I can't just leave you alone like this. I gotta make sure you're okay."

"Kotetsu…" The hand returned to squeeze Barnaby's shoulder, a solid grounding presence, soothing and safe.

"Just tonight, for now. We'll see how things play out, and if it turns out you don't need the company, I'll leave you alone."

Logically thinking, it would be safer to have someone to watch him, even if it did risk aggravating his condition. If worse came to worse, at least someone would be around to call the paramedics.

Barnaby sighed, "I'll stay over at your place."

* * *

Everything started out so harmless.

The most Barnaby had asked for was a glass of milk and a spare toothbrush, and the most trouble they ran into was a mildly argumentative discussion over who would sleep on the couch. Within a few minutes of Barnaby stubbornly draping himself over his partner's furniture, he dozed off there, exhausted by his illness. At that point, Kotetsu gave in and just turned out the light with a short murmur of "good night". He went to sleep thinking things had been settled until sunrise. The simplicity of it was so heartbreakingly deceptive.

At four in the morning, Kotetsu woke up to the noise of a crash downstairs.

The light flickered on by Kotetsu's shaky hand. And exactly as both of them had feared, Barnaby was on the floor choking. Kotetsu rushed to the couch just in time to watch his poor, suffering partner hack up three bulbs in a row, followed by a good amount of what was identifiably blood.

Barnaby felt his chest tighten at the sight, heart seizing up with fear at the core and beating faster as if to chase away the awful sensation. Tears streamed out, and he gripped at his hair instinctively, trying to ground himself. But spinning thoughts pummeled him, telling him he was hopeless, telling him that he was an idiot for letting the feelings fester, telling him to scream and make Kotetsu abandon him _right now_, because that would make everything easier for him so that it would just _go away_.

But the thought of never having Kotetsu at his side again made his heart scrunch in pain, because returning to a lonely life after him sounded far worse than _this_.

"I'm going to _die_," Barnaby sobbed, curling up towards the ground before another coughing fit took hold of him. Kotetsu's first instinct was to lay comforting hands on his partner, but he instantly held back, not wanting to frighten him. Barnaby was already in a tense state. It was best not to take any risks at making it worse.

"No, Bunny, I'm here. I'm here. It's okay. You're going to be okay," Kotetsu reassured, voice firm but so very gentle. A surge of tears welled up with that. Goodness, did he love Kotetsu, and_ goodness_, did he hate himself for it now. Barnaby felt like his partner was forcing an arrow further into his already-impaled chest. But he couldn't blame Kotetsu for it. How could he, when the only thing his partner wanted to do right now was help?

_Stop making me love you more than I already do._

"C-Call…" Barnaby barely managed to choke out.

Not waiting for the end of that sentence, Kotetsu swallowed the lump in his throat and called an ambulance.

* * *

Medical professionals took care of Barnaby over the course of a couple of weeks, studying and observing him carefully, taking x-rays and MRIs before coming to the conclusion that surgery would be necessary to remove the buds and developing bulbs throughout his esophagus. After consulting with Nawra, Barnaby went ahead with the surgery, only to find the petals coming back up only a few hours after he'd woken up from the procedure.

They watched him for close to a whole month. Someone studying him had noted that these buds would, at times, flourish exponentially for no reason, irritating his throat and causing the vomiting and coughing fits to occur. But Barnaby knew why, and he confided this knowledge sparingly with his doctors, never giving the full details. Nawra had dropped by to validate these theories and prove herself the source of the illness for good measure. With that, she explained in depth everything she knew from watching people she'd infected and, while her speech was much more coherent this time around, her tendency to stumble over words persisted. Barnaby didn't mind, so long as she got the point across, which she did each time without fail. He thanked her endlessly for sparing so much of her time in helping him, even if it was apparent she had only done so out of guilty obligation.

"I could help you further if you were willing to say more, but I understand," she had murmured one afternoon.

Barnaby replied, voice tentative and hoarse, "What do you mean?"

"You could tell me their name, for starters."

* * *

He did consider it. As the days went by, he felt more and more pressed towards it. But turning it over in his head, there was no way to do this without Kotetsu possibly finding out. It would be useless to tell the doctors, because it would tip Kotetsu off if staff suddenly stopped letting him in to visit. And if he told Nawra, even in confidentiality, he still held the slightest hint of distrust, a fear that she would go behind his back and inform Kotetsu anyway, in hopes of making the situation better. Alternatively, what if Kotetsu had walked in while he was telling someone? How would Kotetsu react then?

Was there really no avoiding it?

Maybe he was making too big a deal out of telling his partner. It wasn't like Kotetsu would think badly of Barnaby for it, seeing as he still respected the ever-flirtatious Nathan as not just a colleague but a good friend. And sure enough, if Barnaby had to say he was in love with Kotetsu, he didn't want anyone else to say it for him.

But the idea of admitting it out loud, to anyone, let alone Kotetsu, was still so severely uncomfortable. The fact of the matter was that Kotetsu was in love with someone else. Tomoe had taken that piece of his heart with her to the grave. That was the end of it. Aware of that, Barnaby could not divulge his feelings. Why ask, why even _want_, for something that couldn't be given? There was no hope for a return of those feelings, so why bother working up the nerve just to be let down?

Barnaby placed his hand in his forehead. This was just like the crush he had on Jordan at the Hero Academy: reasoning his way out of saying anything and ending up suffering through the whole experience until, finally, the longing left him. But this was much worse than Jordan, because Kotetsu wasn't a world apart from him. He was Barnaby's partner. And he was standing there next to him. He'd been standing next to Barnaby for the past month now, listening to him intently, bringing back coffee, looking back at him with such intense concern and care and _love_, but not the same kind that Barnaby held for him.

Kotetsu held out his hand, "Here, I got this for you."

"Thanks." Barnaby set the cup aside.

"So, you been holding up okay here?"

Barnaby mustered a weak laugh, "I've been managing. Although my condition hasn't improved, at least it stopped getting worse."

"That's a relief to hear," Kotetsu's eyes crinkled, a broken chuckle on his lips. He seemed to be shaking a little though, eyes a bit wet. Barnaby remembered the circumstances surrounding his wife's death, and his heart swelled with sympathy. He was acutely aware of how this could be similar to making Kotetsu relive that difficult part of his life.

To distract his partner from those worries, Barnaby asked, "How has everyone at work been?"

"They've all been holding up pretty well so far. We all miss you though," Kotetsu added, testing, "Fire Emblem especially."

"No surprise there," Barnaby smiled unceremoniously. On that alone, Kotetsu mentally crossed Nathan off the list. "A shame _you_ don't miss me as much. You seem like you could use the help on the show right now."

Kotetsu retorted, "Tch! Why would I miss you? I visit every day!" That got a laugh out of Barnaby. A bit self-consciously, Kotetsu rubbed the back of his neck, "Um. Am I really lagging that much though?"

"I'm only kidding with you. You're holding up quite alright for someone with only a minute left."

Pouting, the older man replied, "Thanks, partner. Really reassuring."

"My apologies. I didn't mean for it to come off like that." Barnaby looked him in the eyes, "Sincerely, you're doing a good job without me." Kotetsu averted his gaze with a sigh.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said it was easy without you there."

Barnaby hated the way his pulse jumped at that.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

A beat of silence, and Barnaby swallowed, "I'll try my best to hurry back then."

"No, don't," Kotetsu said, voice softening. "I don't want you back until you're good and ready, alright? Give yourself time to heal, Bunny." And he had a sort of strange look on his face, words in his eyes that only Barnaby could read this time.

_I can't lose you too… especially not like this. Promise me you'll be okay._

"I will then."

The call bracelet went off then. Kotetsu's spine tensed in momentary shock before he tore his eyes from Barnaby to look at the notification.

"Duty calls." Then a little uncertainly, he put a hand up, "I'll see you tomorrow, Bunny."

"See you, Kotetsu."

Barnaby watched listlessly as the door closed behind his rushing partner, staring a good few minutes after he was gone completely. The moment still lingered and surrounded Barnaby, nearly immobilizing him with the realization that Kotetsu was just as afraid of this illness as he was. The frailty in his goodbye said it all. And that made the younger man's heart clench. He very truly wanted to move past his feelings… but dying like this was a very real possibility.

He wanted to live—so, so _desperately_, did he want to survive this—but if his love killed him, could he help it? Could he help it if he fell that much more in love just from the smell of coffee, the sound of bad puns, and the sight of a lopsided smile? Kotetsu could literally just _breathe_ and that would be enough to kill Barnaby. Even with him gone right now, Barnaby could feel it caught in his throat, the words, the flowers, the feelings—everything that should've been wonderful but _hurt_. Tears stung the corners of his eyes, tumbling out before he could stop them.

The door clicked open then as someone turned down the handle, and Barnaby couldn't find it in him to hide his face. Nawra walked in, expression twisting up with guilt and pity at the sight that met her.

Setting down the bottle in her hand next to the coffee, she made her way to his side, "Mr. Brooks, are you alright?" He choked, leaning over the other side of the bed to throw up. Nawra cringed, her own throat tightening up with anxiety.

"I'm sorry you had to see me in this state, Ms. Shafir."

"No! No… you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. This is _my fault_. If you're going to be upset with anyone, then it should be me!" Another surge of tears welled up and Barnaby hung his head, ashamed, feeling as though he'd caused her even more guilt somehow. He didn't know what to say anymore. He wished she could just stop feeling bad about it, but Nawra seemed insistent on hating herself for something she couldn't quite control. Granted, it wasn't as though he couldn't relate to _that_ sentiment on some level.

"You didn't mean it," he offered weakly, knowing that didn't amount to much by her standards, but he was saying it anyway.

She let out a harsh noise, tone subdued, cold, "I honestly would rather you hated me no matter what I did. Doing _this_ to a Hero… how do I live with myself?"

"You're doing the best you can to help, and I think that's all that really matters. You're a good person, Ms. Shafir. So please, don't let my current state convince you otherwise." He quelled a cough, pointing out the bottle she'd brought in, "What is that?"

"Oh, this? It's apple cider vinegar. It's… it's supposed to help? With… i-it kills plants. Vinegar does, I mean."

Barnaby tried not to wrinkle his nose at having to take vinegar, but he was grateful there was a likely biological solution to this problem. Still though, just vinegar… ew, he just didn't like it.

"How much will I have to take and how frequently?"

"I would ask the doctor just to be safe, but I generally take a tablespoon with a full glass of water almost every morning. Not that I'm infected. It's just as part of a personal health routine. Apple cider vinegar is actually supposed to be good for you in a bunch of ways, so… yeah. Several birds with one stone?"

"It sounds promising." Barnaby nodded in acknowledgement, "Thank you."

"Absolutely no problem. Also…" She pointed out the coffee, "you shouldn't drink coffee. It can actually encourage plant growth, I read."

"Oh." Barnaby blinked.

"Anyhow, I hope that helps for now." She turned away to avoid his eyes out of remnant shame, her head bowed slightly as it weighed down on her, "I'll visit again soon. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, Ms. Shafir."

The door shut behind her just as easily, her steps delicate and unhurried on the way out, but she was gone soon enough too. Barnaby spent another moment staring at the door again, but his eyes didn't linger there too long, shifting attention to the coffee Kotetsu had brought him. Curling his hand around it, he affirmed that it had gone cold. A hoarse, inaudible laugh fell past his lips as he shook his head.

_Trying to make things better, but not knowing that he was actually making them worse…_

With his hand still on the coffee, Barnaby contemplated bringing it back up to his mouth, not wanting to waste Kotetsu's little favor. But the blonde retracted his hand in favor of reaching for his phone instead. After texting back and forth to his partner with just the mildest hint of frustration, he placed his phone to the side and took the coffee cup back up, staring at it, before hesitantly throwing it out in the wastebasket next to his bed, leaving it to land in a mucous bed of all those pain-causing flowers.

Barnaby knew this would be best for both of them.


	3. Coming to Consciousness

All of that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" stuff is bullshit, because it actually just made Kotetsu more worried and concerned about Barnaby than he already was.

"_I have a favor to ask you, Kotetsu."_

"_Sure thing, Bunny. What is it?"_

"_Starting tomorrow, could you refrain from visiting me or calling me for a few months?"_

Kotetsu took a moment to blink, before double-checking what he'd just read. What exactly did Barnaby expect him to say to that?

"_Why? Am I bothering you or something?"_

"_No. I just need some time alone for a while. I hope you understand."_

"_I really don't. Help me out here. What's going on?"_

"_I can't quite explain. But I need you to trust me, Kotetsu."_

"_Bunny, of course I trust you! I just don't get why you're asking this! I've been worried sick about you. You really think I'd just abandon you at the drop of a hat?"_

"_I know you wouldn't. I trust you too much to think you'd do that."_

"_Then if you trust me so much why can't you tell me what's going on?"_

That pause lasted longer than necessary. An explanation flickered to life in Kotetsu's head, but he disavowed it immediately. There was no way that Barnaby…

"_When I'm ready to talk about it, I will. After all of this is over, I promise I'll explain everything to you. Is that alright?"_

Kotetsu sighed. There was no point arguing this any further, not with that. He wouldn't force Barnaby to say anything he wasn't comfortable saying. Kotetsu would just have to be patient then.

"_Sure thing, buddy. See ya."_

"_See you, Kotetsu."_

With that, the older man had tucked his phone away. It had been long over a month now, and he hadn't heard from his partner since. Co-workers passed along no news of improvement in Barnaby's condition, but thankfully, at least he still wasn't getting any worse. That, in the slightest bit, was a relief to Kotetsu. But some nights, the worry over Barnaby kept him awake. His wife died in a hospital, and he certainly didn't want his partner to die in one too.

It felt kind of odd to put Barnaby next to Tomoe like that, but it was hard not to with everything going on. The set up was all too familiar: constantly having to leave for work with someone he cared about in an unstable state of health. It had him on edge, even if Barnaby kept promising he'd be okay. It wasn't that he didn't think Barnaby incapable of getting over whoever it was, but Kotetsu understood that romantic sentiments weren't an easy thing to control. And the memory of Barnaby, panicked and sobbing, throwing up bulb after bulb and then blood, still stuck at the back of Kotetsu's head. Seeing his usually strong, confident partner so vulnerable and scared made Kotetsu's heart tighten in his chest, made him think that there was no telling whether or not Barnaby would live. Because Barnaby really loved this person, and, even if his small circle of friends was steadily growing closer to him, he still didn't have many people he was quite so intimate with. It didn't come as a wonder if that was why he was struggling with letting go of these feelings, especially after losing everyone he'd called family through some means or another.

Come to think of it, Kotetsu was the person closest to him out of everyone he knew now.

For a brief moment during that conversation, it did occur to Kotetsu that Barnaby's crush could be _him_, but it just seemed so absurd initially that he pushed it out of his mind. But the more Kotetsu thought about it… the more that theory made sense. That would explain why Barnaby didn't want to see him or talk to him anymore, if he was trying to get over Kotetsu. That would also explain why Barnaby wouldn't specify to him who exactly he was in love with. And anyway, they'd gone through so much together since they first met, from practically hating each other to loving each other.

They really did love each other. For Kotetsu, Barnaby was no longer just a bratty co-worker, he was one of Kotetsu's dearest friends, someone he cared about and trusted and would gladly protect from all harm if he could help it. And he knew Barnaby shared that sentiment, so it was understandable to see how that kind of bond could translate into romantic feelings. But if that was the case, Kotetsu honestly didn't know how to respond to that.

Still, maybe he was getting ahead of himself!

As much as he wanted to understand Barnaby completely, he still couldn't quite read his partner's mind. He couldn't really be sure. And he wouldn't know for sure until he saw Barnaby again. The best he could do was support Barnaby from afar through silence and simply wait.

But Kotetsu was antsy by nature.

He wanted to make sure Barnaby was okay… but if this "maybe" proved true, then he'd only be making things worse. Regardless, it felt callous to just go on with his life pretending like his partner wasn't currently in the hospital. He wanted to do something he knew would help, but he wasn't exactly sure what. Talking to someone seemed like a good place to start.

And since he was always bumping into Nawra on the way out of the hospital before, she seemed like the person to go to. She did know everything there was to know about the illness after all. It struck Kotetsu as a helpful thing to dig up a few more specifics on how it worked, for the sake of finding ideas on how to combat the symptoms.

"He really asked you to leave him alone?"

"Yeah. Otherwise, we'd be talking about this with him at the hospital, and not here without him."

"I see… well, I gave him vinegar. That's supposed to kill plants."

"I know that…" Kotetsu mumbled, preoccupied with his shoes, "my mom grows a vegetable garden. She uses vinegar on weeds all the time."

"Alright then. So what do you want to know, Mr. Tiger?"

"Like… how does this thing work?"

Nawra leaned back to cross her legs, stirring her cocktail, "You're going to have to be more specific than that."

"You mentioned that people could be in love with each other but still infected. How is that possible if the cure is supposed to be returned love?"

"Oh. Well, if you asked me to explain that…" Nawra sipped her drink mindfully, grasping for words, "I'd say the condition is largely determined by mindset. And this is just a theory based on everything I've seen, so don't consider it absolute truth."

"Okay. Elaborate."

"I don't think he has to stop having feelings for this person in order for his symptoms to go away. I think what needs to happen for him first is reconciliation with his feelings. If… if he can be fully alright with the fact that his love for this person won't be returned, then the illness will end. Otherwise, if the other person _does_ reciprocate, they have to let him know, otherwise he'll be stuck. Because if he doesn't think so, then he'll still be in doubt and still… yeah. You understand, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you have any other questions, Mr. Tiger?"

"Uh, this might sound kinda weird to ask but, have people… puked up other kinds of flowers? Or is it always tulips?"

Nawra giggled, "Pardon me. I know I shouldn't find this amusing, but Mr. Brooks's case isn't exactly typical. I usually see people vomiting roses, but once or twice before, I've seen other flowers, like lavender or peonies. The same rules still apply: petals if it's a small crush and the whole flower if they're more deeply enamored."

"Do you have a theory for that then?"

"Yeah. Um… based on an experience with a friend… I think it might be the favorite flower of the person he likes. So, since he's vomiting red tulips, those are probably his crush's favorite flower, if that's anything to go off of."

"Okay, gotcha." Kotetsu tilted his glass towards her, "I think I'm good on questions now. Thanks!"

"Not a problem, Mr. Tiger."

For once, Nawra smiled, but still with a touch of doubt in her eyes. She couldn't _help_ but hold doubt in these situations, having seen the same scenarios play out again and again. Kotetsu looked so happy though. She wouldn't want to burst his bubble by reminding him that his worries for Barnaby were far from over just because he'd learned a little more.

If she'd learned anything from a lifetime of watching the people she infected, it was that the most obvious things in the world could potentially make for the most surprising discoveries.

* * *

It seemed pretty clear how to go about from here: he just had to ask around at work and then he'd find his answer. Then maybe he'd finally get Barnaby out of this mess.

_The guy's suffered through enough. The last thing I'd want for him is for him to get hurt by something that made him happy._

Kotetsu got to the training center first thing the next morning and poked around as soon as the others began coming in. It caught a few people off guard, Karina and Antonio in particular. He didn't want to bother asking Pao Lin for obvious reasons, but did anyway so that they wouldn't feel left out. They said they liked asters anyway, so there wasn't anything to be concerned about there.

In the end, nothing matched up.

Karina liked lilies, ironically enough, even if she didn't hold anything against roses. Ivan was partial to plum blossoms. Antonio begrudgingly admitted to roses, feeling like a cliché ass for it. Nathan was caught between sunflowers and carnations as their favorite. And Keith tentatively answered that daisies were his favorite, but he liked all kinds of flowers in general.

"What about tulips?" Kotetsu offered, "How do you feel about those?"

"Those are lovely as well! But it's so difficult to pick a favorite!"

"So you wouldn't say you lean towards tulips though?"

Keith merely shook his head, "Again, it's difficult to pick a favorite." Kotetsu's shoulders sagged. And here he was thinking he was so close to finding the answer.

"What about you, Tiger?" Nathan pointed.

"Huh, me?"

"Yes, _you_. Since you're so curious, we'd like to know too, honey. It's only fair~"

That was actually a bit of a tough one. Kotetsu didn't care in particular for flowers as much as the memories he associated with certain kinds. Flowers had been a constant gift to Tomoe over the years. He didn't really recall what kind he got her when she was in the hospital, but he remembered kissing her for the first time under cherry blossoms, giving her wild irises for their first Valentine's together, picking up a bouquet on the way back from work when he proposed, and dancing in a field of tulips the day of their wedding.

But not just any color of tulips either, they were… they were red.

With a laugh, Kotetsu blurted out, "Well, I guess I can't make up my mind about it either! If I had to pick though, I'm a sap for roses too! Can't go wrong with those, you know?"

"Oh, well, that's not surprising," Karina scoffed, though her voice seemed much too soft to hold any edge of sincere nastiness to it. "Figures for an old guy like you."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised either," Nathan chuckled, shaking their head. "Anyhow, Tiger sweetie, what makes you ask? I'm intrigued."

Kotetsu just grinned, hoping his laugh didn't sound too nervous, "No reason, you know? Just curious!"

* * *

Anyone could like red tulips, or at least that's what he kept telling himself for two more months without any contact from Barnaby.

But the idea wouldn't leave. It was staring him right in the face. Barnaby was in love with _him_, but why? Kotetsu was an old dad, a hero pretty much past his prime, with declining powers and a knack for reckless impulsivity that constantly got him in trouble or injured. He'd be a constant worry, and if not, a constant burden. Barnaby deserved so much better, even if it made Kotetsu's heart sink to think so.

"You're getting ahead of yourself again, Kotetsu," he murmured to himself, popping the tab off a new can of beer, his fifth. A gulp of the stuff slid much too easily down his throat, leaving a burning trail in its wake. Kotetsu wasn't drunk, per se, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit tipsy at least.

When his phone went off with one text, he didn't want to even look at it. But the messages didn't stop. Grumbling to himself, he stuffed his hand into his pocket and curled his fingers around the phone, sliding open the lock screen without any grace to see a text from an unfamiliar number. It was only Nathan, it said, but that was still enough to make him sit up a little. He didn't remember giving his number to them at work, but it wasn't hard to imagine how they got it.

The phone rang in his hand with a voice-only call.

He picked up and replied, "It's late. What gives?"

"Don't think for one second that I didn't catch you lying, sweetheart." Kotetsu felt his throat tighten, and Nathan continued, "I'm guessing it had something to do with Barnaby, didn't it? Now, I won't breathe a word of this to anyone else, so just be honest with me here."

"Well…" He hesitated a moment, but then went on, knowing it would be stupid to keep hiding at this point, "Nawra said I'd be able to tell who was causing it based on what kind of flower Barnaby was throwing up. And nobody said tulips."

"I'm still getting the feeling that's not all, is it?"

"I lied about the roses."

"Meaning?"

"When I thought about it, it's not that I particularly liked any flowers, but I had a very good memory attached to red tulips. They were everywhere at my wedding, so I guess you could say I'm pretty partial to them. But now Barnaby's puking them up and I don't know what to think anymore."

"What do you mean? Isn't it obvious at this point who he's so lovesick over?"

"…I keep telling myself anyone could like tulips but, I just don't know. Because if that's the case, which I still sort of doubt, it makes sense since we're so close and everything, but this sort of thing isn't supposed to make sense, you know?"

"Love isn't supposed to make sense?"

"No, it isn't. At least not to me. Otherwise, I would be way over my wife after seven years, right?" Kotetsu laughed, feeling his throat seize up again as he remembered something Barnaby had said.

"_They love someone else."_

"Tiger, are you okay?"

Rubbing the back of his hand over his eyes, Kotetsu cleared his throat, "I'm fine."

"Stop lying, honey."

Words spill over everywhere like an unfinished can of beer.

"I hate this," Kotetsu laughed, sniffling messily, "I hate this so much. I hate hospitals. I hate staying in them and worst of all I hate seeing people in them. People I care about. People I love. And the last thing I want is for him to die because of this stupid has-been dorky old goofball."

"Hey now, it's alright, he said he hasn't been getting any worse lately."

He continued, "Well Tomoe was feeling fine when I last visited. She said so. The doctors said so, but next thing I knew, I was rushing back from work to see her dead body lying there under a sheet." Kotetsu swallowed, voice shaking, "I don't… want to watch him die too. Especially not because of me."

Silence sits there over the line, prompting Kotetsu to ask if Nathan was still there.

"Yes, I am. Kotetsu, I need you to understand that, no matter what happens, it's not your fault. And as far as I can tell, Barnaby's not dying. He's fine. He's strong."

"So was she."

"We're talking about two different people here, remember that." Kotetsu only nodded, sending nothing but silence to Nathan. Nathan added, "You seem to put him next to her. Any reason for that?"

"It's not what you think. Look, I wouldn't even know, honestly."

Nathan couldn't help but chuckle, "You wouldn't know?"

"I mean…" Kotetsu rubbed the back of his neck, "Sometimes, he reminds me of her. This whole thing, and the way he's been treating it too, reminds me of her. And I'm starting to feel the same way that I did then. Mostly as scared as I did then, and, well, now that I guess I know that maybe he's in love with me, I just…" Kotetsu sighed, "I don't hate the idea. I'm actually kind of curious to know how things would turn out. And I'd give anything to make sure I don't lose him either. I don't know if that's telling of anything or not or if I'm just desperate not to relive that whole experience. I love the guy, really, not the same way I love Tomoe, but… I don't know in what way anymore. I miss having him around. It's lonely to go up to Apollon Media knowing he won't be at his desk. I can't even talk to him and it's driving me nuts. But I don't know if I would feel the same way if you took us out of this situation. I don't want to say I love him too if I actually mean I just don't want to watch Tomoe die again. Get what I'm saying?"

"I think so… well, it sounds like you have some thinking to do, because I know you wouldn't want to hurt Handsome by being careless. But don't drive yourself crazy over this, alright?"

Kotetsu, sighed, "I'll try not to. Thanks for calling."

"No problem, sweetie. Good night."

"'Night."

* * *

He woke up the next morning to another call, which he didn't answer, just letting the voicemail play.

"_Kotetsu, it's me, Barnaby. I've been released from the hospital, so I'll see you at work later this week. Try not to wreck anything before I get back, okay?"_

Hardly able to believe his ears, he laughed, tears of relief spilling over his pillow.

"Good morning to you too, Bunny."


	4. An Answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [To answer one of my reviewers without spoiling anything](https://www.fanfiction.net/r/11729755/1/1/), yeah, Kotetsu has indeed been infected for certain the whole time; he's just not expressing any symptoms currently, because, you know, he's still in love with Tomoe, who did love him back in her lifetime.
> 
> By the way, my bad, I forgot to mention that this chapter is the last chapter. Also, my bad for not keeping the "upload every day" schedule because, you know, life happens and blah blah blah.
> 
> Anyhow, on with it!
> 
> -Reddie

After months of sitting next to an empty desk, it felt way too unreal for Kotetsu to actually be able to _talk_ to him again. He had to stop himself from grinning so much because it hurt his face, but he couldn't help his delight at seeing Barnaby again after so long. It felt like it'd been ages, and he couldn't tell if Barnaby's voice had changed from all that hacking or if he was just imagining it since they've been apart for so long. Other than that, they seemed to just be picking up where they last left off, albeit things certainly weren't the same as before.

Barnaby blinked, "You actually finished up my work for me?"

"Well, yeah. You've been gone pretty long and I figured it'd be a pain in the ass to come back and have to catch up."

"Thank you."

"Pft, don't mention it. It was nothing."

Barnaby teased, "Coming from the guy who rarely finishes his own paperwork on time? Sure." Kotetsu's response was a brief laugh.

"Good to have you back, Bunny."

"It's good to be back. I missed you."

Before Kotetsu could echo that last bit back to his partner, the call bracelets blared between them. At the sharp sound of Agnes's voice, they knew that it was time to get moving. And with just a glance and a nod between them they took off.

Passing Kotetsu as they ran downstairs, Barnaby called behind him, "Try to keep up, Old Man!"

A smile flickered into Kotetsu's field of vision in the brief moment he looked up. His racing pulse really hit him then, and he shook it off with the smallest twist of his head.

_I'll deal with it later._

* * *

They arrived on the scene to find most of their work cut out for them. Many had already been evacuated from the ground floor up to the top, with only a few inside still remaining. Regardless, the fire continued its climb, desperately searching for victims, threatening to engulf the building further against Blue Rose's ice.

A lump formed in Barnaby's throat at the sight of the fire, but once Kotetsu showed up, he found himself swept right into the emergency without a second thought.

Not of his own volition, unfortunately.

Kotetsu's grappling line sent him crashing right into Barnaby, nearly knocking the poor newly-recovered hero off the ledge he was standing on. Good thing then that Kotetsu's first instinct was to grip his partner's arm tightly and not let go. Barnaby held on for the ride, and soon found his feet back on solid ground… or ledge, rather. He turned to Kotetsu to make a comment, but found the older man already running ahead of him into the burning interior. It took less than a few seconds for Kotetsu to activate his powers then.

He looked back for a split second, shouting, "Come on, Bunny, we haven't got all day!"

Brushing aside any sheepishness, Barnaby powered up and hastily joined Kotetsu.

"You cover this area and look under any loose debris. I'll check the exits and stairways to see if anyone was blocked off from escape."

"Gotcha!"

There was a faint flicker of static on the com, but the sound too easily blended into the roar of the fire. Kotetsu scanned through the wreckage, relieved to find no one else in sight, until a faint voice met his ears. Thinking it was a cry for help, he turned to the sound, darting straight for the door into the main hallway. But just as soon as he busted it open, cold mist swept in through the floor and slicked the tile beneath him in ice, which steamed quickly under the heat of the fizzling fire. His entire line of vision blurred.

"Tiger, Barnaby, do you read me? I just said the entire building has been safely evacuated, so get out of there!"

Kotetsu didn't have time to process that because he was too busy slipping on the melted ice. And when he tumbled forward, it also turned out that he hadn't opened the door to the main hall at all, as he felt his chest plate colliding straight into the corner of a stair.

He cursed with each bump, tucking his arms in, "Shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"Kotetsu? Can you hear me?" Barnaby shouted. "I need you to—"

Barnaby toppled backwards with an "oof!" sound as his partner once again crashed into him.

"Agh…" Kotetsu groaned, disoriented as he cracked his eyes open blearily to find that the steam had cleared. Shaking his head, he pushed himself up on both arms to get off the ground, but a pressure on his back seemed to be holding him down. Wait… what exactly was beneath him anyway?

He stiffened a bit and stared down to find his partner blinking up at him, face plate open to reveal the surprise and shock plastered on Barnaby's face. Suddenly, it registers that the arms now shifting to push Kotetsu up were wrapped around him just a second ago. Somehow, Kotetsu softens at that realization.

_Oh, he tried to catch me…_

"Could you get off me, please?" Barnaby demands, albeit quietly. Regaining his bearings quickly, Kotetsu scrambled to stand, before helping his partner up.

"Ah! Sorry, Bunny! Oh, wait," Kotetsu rubbed the back of his helmet sheepishly, "was that you calling me earlier?"

Barnaby nodded, "The com was glitching out on my end and I noticed that your minute was close to over, so I tried calling your name to make sure you were okay. How'd everything go? Was there really no one left behind?"

"Yeah, I didn't find anyone."

"Alright. I didn't find anyone either. Are you okay?"

"Huh? Well, duh." Kotetsu nudged, "Thanks to you breaking my fall back there, that is."

Barnaby sighed, "Good." His call bracelet crackled with noise, coming back to life.

"Tiger and Barnaby—sending—your way—respond," Agnes said sharply.

Before he could reply, Rock Bison barreled in through the wall, shoulder spikes spinning as Fire Emblem trailed after him.

"Oh, there you two are!" Nathan gasped, dramatically pressing half their palm over their chest, "We were worried sick! What happened?" They then perked up a little once they glanced over to Barnaby, "Handsome! How lovely to see your gorgeous face again! Welcome back!" They opened up their arms for a hug, which Barnaby indulged very briefly, but did not return. "Seriously though, what happened? Why didn't either of you respond?"

"Our call bracelets weren't working," Both Kotetsu and Barnaby explained simultaneously, looking back at each other instantly. Kotetsu gave a sheepish smile, and Barnaby looked back to Nathan.

"There was either some sort of interference or something on our end blocking the signal," Barnaby said, prompting a nod from Nathan, "whatever it is, we'll have it fixed once we get back to headquarters, so it's nothing to worry about."

"Barnaby!" Pao Lin called out from the distance. Everyone turned to find them and the rest of the Heroes headed over. And before he knew it, Barnaby was swarmed by several familiar faces welcoming him back with warm smiles and pats on the shoulder. The commotion faded as quickly as it had arrived, as everyone disbanded to answer the call back to headquarters. Kotetsu settled himself into the sidecar without complaint, simply smiling up at the fact that he wasn't riding alone anymore.

At the traffic light, Barnaby cleared his throat.

"Hey, Kotetsu?"

He looked up, "Yeah, Bunny?"

"I promised I would explain everything when it was over, didn't I?" Barnaby's eyes softened, as they met Kotetsu's, "So I was wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee this evening."

Ignoring the thump behind his chest plate, Kotetsu swallowed inaudibly, before saying, "Sure thing, buddy."

* * *

They wound up somewhere on the Silver Stage, tucked into the corner booth of an aged coffee shop. "Bustling" was far from any accurate description of the place, as Kotetsu could count the number of other patrons in there on one hand. Sure, it wasn't exactly the most refined joint, but it boasted a charming antiquity and warm atmosphere. The hearth at the center of the shop, hidden from their view, emanated with more than heat or light. Rather, the firelight radiated with some sense that this was a safe place to talk, a place where a man could lay his whole heart bare on the worn wooden tables, even if only through a whisper.

Barnaby sipped his steaming coffee, looking Kotetsu in the eyes with something contemplative and still as unreadable as ever. So his partner filled in the gap first.

"So," Kotetsu began, "what exactly did you want to tell me?"

Centuries seemed to race by with each thud of a heartbeat filling Kotetsu's ears, until finally, Barnaby set the cup down and spoke. Green eyes flickered down to the cup in front of him, avoidant.

"There was a reason behind why I told you not to visit, and I was hoping you'd guessed by now. But I'll spell it out for you if you still don't understand."

"I could have guessed maybe. I had a few thoughts about what your reasons were, and I still wasn't quite sure I could believe them, honestly, but..." Kotetsu admitted, "I'm not jumping to any conclusions until I've heard it straight from your mouth." Barnaby took his time formulating his words. Unable to meet his partner's eyes, Kotetsu focused on the little dog tag around Barnaby's neck, the way the moving light glinted across it. His gaze moved up to his partner's face, the way the soft orange glow tinted him like a masterpiece, and he felt himself flush.

Barnaby sort of chuckled, a strange look in his eyes as he finally lifted them to meet an amber gaze.

"What can I say, Kotetsu? You're a lovable guy."

And with that, numerous emotions flitted over Kotetsu's expression: disbelief, surprise, embarrassment, confusion, tenderness, a twinge of elation, and then… instant guilt. He found himself slumping back a little, curling into himself as he started to process the words, his face burning. Why did it make him happy to hear that, even for one second? He had been the source of Barnaby's suffering.

_But also his joy, _his subconscious reminded, _you made him so happy that he actually fell for you._

He shook his head of the thought, sighing, "So it really _was_ me…"

"It's no longer an issue now. So we have nothing to worry about." Barnaby took his mug back up, looking very pleased with himself, a smile returning to his features. "What matters now is, we're back together, and nothing's standing in the way of our partnership or friendship for that matter. And I'm glad for that in itself more than anything."

The smile was infectious, and it had Kotetsu laughing as they toasted mugs.

"I'm glad for that too. Welcome back, partner."

* * *

The evening ended quickly, and the whole way back to Kotetsu's place drifted by in a blur. Minutes after closing his front door behind him, he only remembered Barnaby's call from Nawra before they left.

"_There's no need to check in on either of us anymore. The two of us are perfectly alright now, Ms. Shafir."_

_She exhaled, "Alright then. As I thought. That's a relief. Well, um, if you ever need anything, feel free to call anytime! I hope I was of help to you two!"_

As soon as he made his way up to the loft, Kotetsu regretted not speaking up to ask for decaf like Barnaby had. And now he was left wide awake, turning in bed as warmth singed beneath his skin. Because for some reason, all he could fixate on was that his partner loved him. And it made him so unreasonably giddy. He hadn't been loved by anyone else like that in a long time. It made him feel great, to know Barnaby thought so much of him. Not to mention, he was already so close to Barnaby anyway, and now that he thought about it, he had plenty of room in his heart. Love wasn't a finite thing to portion out to others, and he said himself that it wasn't supposed to make sense anyhow. As long as he never forgot or stopped loving Tomoe the way he always had, maybe it'd be alright if he and Barnaby could actually…

"_It's no longer an issue now."_

Remembering that, Kotetsu deflated fast.

It sunk in at last. If they had any chance together like that, he'd missed it completely. That's right… the reason Barnaby wanted time apart was so he could get over Kotetsu. So the sentiment he'd been harboring was long gone. Barnaby was cured, so no more hacking or choking, or blood or tears. There was no more longing for romance with someone who didn't feel the same way. Everything was back to normal. He didn't have to suffer anymore.

_And so I don't have to either, right?_

Kotetsu had been waiting for this all along, to get out of this situation. Barnaby was alive and stable now. So… how come it didn't feel like a weight off his chest? He'd been expecting this, wanting this so badly for his partner, so why was he feeling so hollowed out? Why did his heart feel like it was crumbling away inside his chest?

He felt like slapping himself. He couldn't. This couldn't be happening. Neither of them was sick, and… neither of them was in love like that either.

_Then why are you upset? Stop denying it to yourself. You actually…_

Kotetsu shook his head. This pain didn't mean anything. Or at least, it didn't have to. He was willing to swallow back his secrets if it meant keeping his partner happy.

* * *

He found out, however, that he couldn't keep it all down forever.

He felt an itch in his throat steadily worsening, but dismissed it as simple dehydration, even though, at the back of his mind, he knew. As it happened, it was like watching the landscape outside a train pass by, pulling at the stop wire only for the conductor to refuse his request. Over a week, he watched himself fall in love all over again, through humble things: an offer for a ride home, a subtle compliment during interviews, a fist bump after an arrest, a mistaken brush past one another on the way to the transport, and… just a regular conversation while they filled out paperwork next to each other at the office. It was the way Barnaby would chuckle and remind him not to slack off too much, using Kotetsu's first name like the easiest sound to make in the world. Nothing was out of the ordinary, but that's exactly what did it. Before he could even stop the thought, it came rushing at him, flooding fully into his consciousness while his partner was looking straight at him.

_I'm in love with you, Bunny._

He let Barnaby finish his sentence, before putting a finger up and making his stride to the bathroom. Shutting himself inside a stall, he finally coughed, expecting the worst. When coughing inevitably turned into vomiting, he screwed his eyes shut, falling to his knees. As the wave ended, he peered down to see a mess of goopy blue little champagne flutes floating in the toilet bowl. Tears stung his eyes, but instead of crying, he laughed, because he had no clue what the hell kind of flower he was even looking at. It's not like he could walk back to his desk and ask Barnaby, because that would mean having to explain himself. And, oh no, he did _not_ want to do that.

There wasn't really any way getting around it. Someone on the team medical staff was nice enough to sneak him anti-emetics, but of course those could only do so much. He lied to everyone about having developed a bladder problem to make up for the constant disappearances so he could throw up in privacy. Nathan already seemed to know, so Kotetsu didn't bother confirming it for them. Eventually, he told Antonio what was really going on, and in return, his best friend offered his company after work like there was no tomorrow. To avoid suspicion, however, he'd make sure to meet up with Barnaby every now and then outside work too. He smiled through it all, played pretend in the middle of pain just as he did during his power decline. Needless to say, it wasn't easy keeping up the illusion. But what else could he do? Hiding was what he knew best. And now even that wasn't working out.

Barnaby noticed the constant purchase of breath mints, so Kotetsu started stowing them in his desk drawer instead. Barnaby noticed the build-up of empty cans and bottles at home, so Kotetsu started drinking in the loft instead, throwing his mess under the bed every time Barnaby came over. Barnaby noticed how long he was taking in the restroom, so Kotetsu started regularly forcing out the flowers first thing in the morning even when he didn't feel like vomiting, and ended up not really having much to spit out throughout the day. And while that worked to set his concerned co-workers at ease over his non-existent urination issues, Kotetsu's misery surfaced at last to create new worries for them all. His paperwork piled, his workouts shortened, and his ranking on the show dipped.

Barnaby noticed first, and Kotetsu didn't even have the energy to hide it anymore.

"Kotetsu…" Barnaby began, sounding not angry, not disappointed, but… concerned, and maybe a little hurt. To Kotetsu's ears, it was like a kick in the chest.

Setting down his pen, he replied, "Yeah, Bunny?"

"If something has been troubling you, you're free to talk to me about it. We are partners, after all."

"I trust you, Bunny," Kotetsu explained, wearily, "but sometimes a man needs his privacy."

"Would you prefer to have this conversation outside of work then?" As Kotetsu replied by looking back down at his paperwork, Barnaby persisted, "If not, could I at least show you something I found the other night?"

"What did you find?"

"A view from the bridge. It was quite breathtaking and I thought I might share it with you." Kotetsu hated the way his heart lurched at that, but the invitation sounded so sincere. "Are you free tonight?"

The misguided sense of responsibility in Kotetsu screamed its refusals, but the pounding of his heartbeat was much harder to ignore.

"Yeah."

* * *

The drive there made Kotetsu's veins singe with adrenaline, blood burning in his face with both nervousness and excitement. Maybe it was because Barnaby had the hood of his convertible down. More likely, it was because he was headed out someplace quiet to be_ alone_ with Barnaby. Either way, the air rushing over them didn't do much good to cool him off.

Eventually, the vehicle slowed to a halt.

"You can quit gripping your hat now," Barnaby teased. "We're here."

With a smirk, he retaliated, "Hmph. Great. Maybe you can tell me what those long bright things sticking up in the distance are." Trying to play it cool, Kotetsu crossed his arms over his chest. His pulse was so loud in his own ears, he wondered if Barnaby could hear it too.

Barnaby merely chuckled, "Well, I can't quite say I know." He pointed a finger right at Fortress Tower, "Maybe you can tell me again?"

"That's a building."

He pointed out the structure next to it, "And that?"

"Another bui—fuck," Kotetsu cracked up a little, "Are we really doing this right now?" The laughter between them rose.

"If it's getting you to smile a little bit more, I could do this all night."

"So that was your big plan then?" And Barnaby nodded. Kotetsu sighed, a slight sadness tinging his smile. "I'm afraid that won't work, but I appreciate the effort. The view from out here really is something though. Glad you showed me."

There was silence, but conversation continued between their eyes.

_What's going on, Kotetsu? Are you really alright?_

_I'm fine, Bunny. You don't have to worry about me._

_Are you sure you can't tell me?_

…_Some things are better left unsaid._

Sometimes, eyes could only say so much.

Barnaby paused, before starting, "To my understanding, you and Rock Bison have been friends for a long time, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah."

Placing a hand to his chin, Barnaby spoke slowly, "And lately, you've been going out with him almost every other night after work."

"Well, yeah…" Kotetsu rubbed the back of his neck.

"Is… he okay?"

"Of course he's okay! He's been great! Haven't you seen him? He's been racking up more points than I've been able to lately!"

"That is true…"

Leaning back, Kotetsu sighed, "What made you ask?"

"I thought maybe he was sick or would be moving away soon or something along those lines, and that's why you've been so down lately."

"It's nothing to do with him," Kotetsu explained, voice softening. "Don't worry."

"I can't help but worry, Kotetsu!" Barnaby blurted out, "The beer cans, the ranking decline, the paperwork… you haven't been alright. I want to help you, but I don't know what the problem is. I really wish I did. But…" He exhaled, regaining some grip over his filter, "I know I can't force you to tell me. I'm sorry, I… you took care of me while I was in bad shape. I was hoping I'd be able to do the same for you. But I'll respect your privacy. I'll understand."

"Bunny, listen…" Kotetsu felt his throat go tight, and when he tried to force the words out, he choked on a cough. In horror, he watched a little lump of blue flop over onto Barnaby's shirt. Blinking curiously, he reached to pluck it off and examine it.

"This is a… bluebell?"

With a shaky laugh, Kotetsu hid himself behind his hat, "So that's what it's called. I've been wondering about that, actually."

"Kotetsu, does that mean you're…?"

He nodded his head, repeating lowly, "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry? Who… oh." Barnaby connected the dots, and with that, Kotetsu steeled himself to look his partner in the eye.

But before he could start spouting out all sorts of things about how much their friendship meant to him, how he would get over it as soon as possible, or how Barnaby could find someone so much better any way, his partner's arms were wrapped around him. His whole head was swimming in warmth and sparks and confusion. Words wrested themselves from the mess.

"Bunny…" he returned the embrace, "hey, you don't have to feel bad for me. I'll be okay."

Gently, Barnaby asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You said it wasn't an issue anymore, so I didn't want to turn it back into one. If you're over me, I can't _make_ the feelings come back."

"That's not what I meant!" He curled his arms around him tighter, clinging, "I never got over you, I just… finally learned to live with not having those feelings returned." Kotetsu stiffened, staring back in disbelief. Backing off a little, Barnaby slid a hand down to Kotetsu's, running a thumb over the wedding band, "What about her?"

"I still love her. But after everything you and I have been through together… can't I love you too, Bunny?" A moment played out between speechless eyes as Barnaby moved his hands up to Kotetsu's face. Equally as tender, Kotetsu curled his fingers around his partner's hand. Barnaby drew his partner's face close enough to meet his.

And lips answered without words.


End file.
